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In a relationship, no matter how much I love you or how long we’ve been together, I will NEVER call you daddy. Get out of here with that shit.

Artist: David Bowie


David Bowie | Let’s Dance

These apples taste like butt. And don’t say, “Oh my god, Cheyenne! How do you know what butt tastes like?!?” I KNOW what butt tastes like, kids. Trust me. I know.

And why are Thursdays so boring? I’m already done with work and I’ve been sitting with my hands in my pants and porn on for, like, an hour now.

Why can’t I be a big cutie with a big booty to match? My nickname is Hank Hill butt. Le sigh.